delusions of blandeur

Mila Kunis has been cast in Gary’s movie and the budget keeps creeping up.

G. is testing his limits. It’s pretty funny. I have given up on trying to contain him and am letting him run wild for a bit before naptime.

He threw his lunch in the dirt on purpose. I guess dirty apples taste better? He’d toss a slice, pick it up, eat it. Toss another, pick it up, eat it.

Then he twisted apart all of C.’s Oreos and stuck the cream sides to the bottom of his feet. My floor’s covered in crushed cookies and Oreo cream. Now he’s shoving graham cracker up his nose and it’s sticking to his snot.

He also licked the dog.

Now he’s whining because it’s time to pick up toys. When he whines, he sounds like a Tusken Raider. It’s truly amazing in its accuracy.

Gary: I don’t think I can ever have a girlfriend after you. What other girl is going to think going to Walmart and playing with the blood pressure machine is a fun afternoon out?

Me and Gary @ Melanie and Greg’s wedding, Nov. 1, 2008

So, this guy you might’ve heard of is in this movie my boyfriend wrote.

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117994890.html?categoryid=13&cs=1

BlizzCon day two, no stories. It was much quieter since we went in the morning while everyone was at their hotels, hung over. Here are the last of the pics from the con.

Gary is fierce.

He will eat you aliiiiiive.

This dwarf statue scared the shit out of me.

He’s going to kill me in my sleep, I know it.

Full set is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/understated/sets/72157607989423682/detail/

We left BlizzCon early, power napped in the hotel, and went to Halloween Horror Nights on Saturday night. Overall it was lots fun, though it wasn’t very scary.

The mazes were really well done. A Nightmare On Elm Street was my favorite, and the only thing to succeed at spooking me. Gary preferred The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which was also pretty awesome. We did that one twice and it was interesting to see how things were a bit different each time. The latter maze was really an assault on the senses — I was impressed by the way they incorporated scents into the experience. Two of the rooms really fucking stank though

The Scare Zones were well done, but ultimately were more of a laugh than a scare. We had a great time watching other people get scared but I don’t think either of us ever got a good spook. There were guys with metal pads on their hands and knees which allowed them to slide across the pavement, making some pretty dreadful noises in the process. Those were by far the best and they really did a number on some squealing groups of teenage girls. I could’ve sat and watched that all night.

The Terror Tram was kind of meh. It’s hard to be scared when you feel like you’re on a school field trip. Basically what they do is act like they’re taking you on the studio/back lot tour and then the tram has to stop for a “medical emergency”. We’re let off to find survivors or something and are lead through some pretty creepy sets with scary clowns, plane crash victims (from the War of the Worlds set, pretty impressive), etc. The trams weren’t spaced out though, so we ended up being herded through with a few other groups and I spent more time staring at the backpack on the tall guy in front of me than looking at spooky actors.

I think this thing would be 1,000x more scary if they cut the crowd down by at least a third. The only truly spooky moment was when one of the employees held us back for a minute to let the people in front of us get further ahead, leaving us alone for part of the maze. I’d gladly pay extra for a thinner crowd. There’s definitely some creepy shit, but it feels more like a walk through Ripley’s than something genuinely frightening because you are almost always surrounded by people.

If anyone can recommend a local haunted house or Halloween event that will leave me in tears, let me know. I want to be scared, damnit!

As previously mentioned, Gary dragged me to Medieval Times this weekend to break up the BlizzCon trip. Since he’s kind of a wuss (ok, a total wuss) and agreed to spend an evening at Halloween Horror Nights with me, I agreed to go to Medieval Times and I even managed to mask my “I am barely tolerating this” face when people started calling me m’lady and put a paper crown on my head.

For those of you unfamiliar, it’s a dinner theater thing with dressage, jousting, some kind of story I wasn’t paying attention to, and an “11th century feast” that features such well known 11th century items as garlic bread, Pepsi, and an apple turnover (aka pastry of the Castle). There is also a lot of meat and a half potato, which you eat with your hands. It’s messy! But in true 11th century fashion, they provide you with an 11th century moist nap to wash up when you’ve finished your meal. Very authentic! There’s some kind of tournament thing too, and you cheer on knights based on the color of your very stylish paper crown. We were red.

Despite my sarcasm and my desire to roll my eyes at the lameness of such a place, I had a lot of fun. This may be partly due to Gary’s enthusiasm – he was out of his seat, clapping and cheering and having a great time. I’m also a sucker for eating food with my hands and looking at pretty horses though, so doing both of those things at once while being served by a saucy wench was actually pretty fun.

You see the happy? There was a lot of happy.

oooOOoooooOOooohhhh spooky dark horse:

Bad dudes caught the good dude, oh noes!

This guy was a huge dork and really annoying but his horse was pretty.

This was our knight. He won. I think Gary has a crush on him.

Gary bought those goofy pictures that they take at the entry. I will scan them when I get around to unpacking my suitcase.

Gary and I went to Anaheim and did some serious geeking out.

First stop: BlizzCon! BlizzCon is a convention put on by Blizzard Entertainment. Blizzard puts out games for the Warcraft, Diablo, and Starcraft franchises. Gary and I got in free with press passes and enjoyed the rampant geekery. The convention halls smelled a lot like BO, baby powder, and social anxiety but that’s to be expected.

Blizzard fans are completely fanatic about their games and gear. There were FIVE HOUR lines to play some of the game demos and similarly long lines for the Blizzard and J!NX stores. Many of the exclusives sold out on the first day and were selling on ebay for several hundred dollars. People are nuts. There was a $40 plushy for sale that has sold for up to $300 on ebay. Those people are going to feel dumb when it’s on the J!NX website in six weeks.

We didn’t really do much – didn’t play any game demos, don’t have any five hour in line stories ’cause we got in early with the press passes and were in and out in ten minutes, missed the contests because we were at dinner…I overheard some guy complaining about the crowds because he didn’t want another staph infection. Gross. Anyway. Overall it was fun, but I wouldn’t go if I had to pay or wait in lines.

My boyfriend is an Orc (he didn’t wear that all day. It was in the swag bag and came off immediately after the picture):

Anaheim Convention Center:

“So, uh, is it ok if I, uh, touch you?”

“Awwww, yeeeeah”

A baby McLovin:

Creepy contacts:

Night Elf druid newscaster:

This guy said he worked on this for two weeks straight. Then he drove to Anaheim from Canada, 24 hours straight through.

This guy in a Warlock costume…

…was filmed right after the previous guy. The reporter asked if he’d have a mock battle with with the other guy. The conversation went a little like this:

Warlock: *snort* I’m a level sixty warlock. This guy’s like, a level eighty elite character!
Elite: *snort* Yeah. *snort*
Reporter: What…what does that mean..?
Warlock: *eyeroll* It meeeeans that he’d KILL me in ONE SHOT. That fight would be sooo unrealistic. *snort*

They went back and forth for awhile, with the Warlock and elite guy laughing and rolling their eyes and very clearly mocking the reporter, who did not give a shit and just wanted his footage.

After day one of BlizzCon, Gary got the brilliant idea to go to Medieval Times. More on that later.

I really love Sesame Street’s spoofs on adult shows. Today’s show had this Law and Order spoof:

Law and Order

I love that they did the dun-DUN! cut scenes. Excellent.

Also good: LL Cool J and Elmo’s Addition Expedition.

Add ‘em add ‘em add ‘em add ‘em UP!

I think I need more adult activities in my life.

I really enjoy this blog: http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com/

We celebrated our anniversary weekend with a trip to Monterey. We stayed in a fancy schmancy hotel with a fireplace in the room, discovered a hidden hot tub and soaked for a loooong time before anyone else stumbled upon it, ate good food, drank good drinks, and saw a million cute/scary/pretty/squishy/strange creatures at the aquarium. Good times.

Here are some aquarium pictures:

Otter paws make me go squeee.

Sea nettles!

Tube anemone look like Seussian forests.

Snowy plover = favorite tiny puff o’ bird.

The rest are here.

These search queries brought people to my site:
-my cat is an asshole
-sup
-bonnie raitt wood monkey
-peed on her lap
-bringing sexy back reality kings
-pictures of chemical burns
-gothing
-burns on the face photos

Hm.